Thursday, April 23, 2009

Will I Ever

I found this hiding in a drafts folder in my email.....Wonder When I wrote it.... Actually I know..... I was at a point of despair living on a Caribbean island far away from anywhere....

Here I sit wondering if you are through with what we are
Here I sit wondering if you have gone
Will I always find myself the one left behind
Or run away and hide behind closed eyes
Not seeing the truth for what it is
How shall I ever know if you were real or just a fairytale
You never showed me what could be

After all the thoughts and smiles you gave me
To leave unannounced and silent
I feel like a fool to have known you.
Or did I?
Was it you I found or did you find me
With the knowledge of leaving me
Knowing full well you would and still

Here I sit wondering just how I’ll tell if I’m whole again
Will I split apart from pain?
Will I find another to fill the space?
How will I ever know if it is real or just a farce
To keep me sane I retreat
I hide behind false eyes and smiles
Like a geisha or a mime
No one can see my true face
My true sorrow and fear

Oh how tired I am of being alone
And yet love is there just on the horizon
I can taste it at times in the wind
I can hear it through the trees
and see it in the waves
Just out of sight
Tantalizing me, drawing me, wanting me
Will I succumb again?
only to be slain by the sword
Another death, another life

And just after I wrote this I created the love of my life...I'm with him now

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