These are the vows of a friend. I find them inspiring and enlightening.
Guiding Principles Of Our Relationship
Finally we have found in each other a partner with whom we can share this journey called life in peace and trust and love, one day at a time. The path that has brought us to this beautiful place in our lives was long and arduous. It has left some scars and many lessons in its wake. And it has certainly taught us the importance of clarity in communication. It is in this context that we wish to express and document the guiding principles that we want to remember as we manifest each other's love each and every day.
There are three people in this relationship: you, me and us…
When we met there were two individuals walking separate paths. We were both enchanted by one of these individuals and wanted to include that individual in our lives. If we now trade in that individual person for a new entity known as US, we give up the very person to whom we were attracted to in the first place. Respecting the importance of this distinction in our personas is a cornerstone of the structure of our relationship.
The past is history, the future is mystery, today is a gift…
This is the present we give each other. No promises of the future, no secrets from the past. Just being grateful for each day we choose to share our lives. This ability to choose is important as it assures both of us that when the other is present in our life it is truly a gift and not an obligation.
Lead or Follow…
Working by consensus is tedious and reduces excellence down to the mediocrity of the lowest common denominator. We can both lead and we can both follow. Taking turns at these roles allows both of us to control our individual destiny while still having the benefit of the other's support and wisdom.
Preservation of Individuality through Segregated Property Ownership…
Segregated Property Ownership is important as it facilitates the unconditional acceptance of one another that is also a cornerstone of our love. Knowing that each of us is responsible for our selves and having that fact reinforced regularly by the way we manage our financial affairs and legal obligations makes it possible for each of us to accept actions by the other that we might find objectionable or disturbing if we felt that we were financially responsible for each other.
Recognizing that our guiding principals establish a code of behavior,
roles and responsibilities that stand in contrast
to the traditional marriage contract or common law arrangement….
we hereby wish to share with you the unique nature of our relationship;